K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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