They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
