I hate all girls vehemently.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
