this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
