If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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