we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
