Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
