as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Mom said you looked used
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
