It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
id be glad to
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
