Got a toothbrush?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
