areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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