Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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