Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
