Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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