I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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