hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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