My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
