rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize