He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
