and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
