Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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