Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize