Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
