With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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