there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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