i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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