if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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