Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
