The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
