Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
