all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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