Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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