if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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