my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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