Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
