while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize