Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
