yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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