i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
