just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My breasts were aching with rage.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize