12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
