What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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