i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
