I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
