I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
