I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
