if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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