i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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