she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
