Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
