i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
