Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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