If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
