i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
