I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
