ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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