the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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