I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm really busy with my period
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