I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
