Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
