You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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