So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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