I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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