I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just cut my nipple shaving
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
