Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
