when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sponge bath it is.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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