Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
